Okey dokey world. Those skulls are a good representation of how my mind feels. Heh. Also, they were at Enchanted rock and I liked them.
Yes, so, Friday I went home! I went to Enchanted rock with my mom. It was a lot of fun. just talked and wandered and I took pictures. Then we met my dad for dinner and rented How to Train Your Dragon. DOWNLOAD Jonsi: Sticks and Stones. Do it now. It's wonderful. It's the new song. You need it. LOVE it. The movie was really cute too. I liked it a lot. :D
There was a fire and there was new grass starting to grow.
I also go to see the Bella and Gunner play the catch popcorn game. My dad is so proud. They hardly miss any at all. They ate pretty much the whole bowl and still wanted more. Too cute.
So disappointed we were out of popcorn
This morning we had a fantastic breakfast and then watched Red. Like that movie too. My parents both really liked it as well. That doesn't always work. Me recommending movies I like to them...our tastes can be quite different. After that I took the dogs for a run. I wish I could have dogs now. Then mom and I ran errands and worked on the timeline she wants me to help her with. We also talked a lot about stressful family stuff that made me feel tired and crappy but over all it was a really good time at home.
Yummy!
When I got back to austin I met Kyr at Bennu. We did not take a picture. I wasn't in the mood. However, after listening to the asshole behind us talk to his girlfriend like she was stupid and incompetent for like 45 min and listen to her frustration and sound like she wanted to cry, I had to do something. So I made the logical choice of writing a note that said something along the lines of "you sound like a douche. you should work on that *heart*" and handing it to him as we left.
I had a really good day for the most part people wise, a not so great one mentally. My mom and I talked about why my family likes to dump their shit on me. Also she pointed out how few friends I have. (Thanks mom). That's not a fun thing to realize. Also, the reason for that is probably me. Ooops. Another thing, I don't do so many things I want to do. I start to do things, talk about doing things, pretend to do things...but I don't do much.
Then there's money. What a fail. I want to save to do the things above, but I don't. I barely get by. Time for another job and no sleep. And what if I don't ever go to school? And what if I let my commitment issues keep me from ever loving anyone? And what if I work a lame job and can never afford to travel? And what if I don't ever go take pictures of the slums? And what if I die a lonely dog lady? What if I'll never feel good in my own body? And what if I'm never actually good at ANYTHING? And what if I'm actually a bitch? On and on and on it goes in my head. "Fuck you mind! Just stop! I want off of this death spiral. Please leave me the hell alone you crazy psyco that's actually me!"
When you're friends/whatever with an engineer, the phrase "load bearing wall" just pops into your head sometimes.
It's my mom's theory about family.
Ugh. You know what I hate. When people copy you and then get loads of attention for it. Or you say something and they're like "I know, me too!" but you have this sneaking suspition they never thought of it before you said it but now they will rape the idea/plan/action till it's black and blue. Definitely to the point you want nothing to do with it. I hate that. I also hate hate hate that I get jealous of the attention they're getting for it even though I wasn't doing it for attention in the first place. Once again, dear mind, get a life.
I am so relating to this ass. :)
Blah. Gross. Being human is no fun.
I want to be individual and confident. Like her:
guess it's good I didn't.
You don't know me anymore.
And I don't know you.
There is always and should always be a song of the day. But there's not today.
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